Posts tagged Holidays
Claustrophobia - An anxiety disorder typically classified as the fear of a fat perverted old pedophile in a red suit…
TODAY’S CHRISTMAS TIP FOR JEWS: Get some Christmas lights and spell out “JESUS WAS JEWISH” on the front of your house…
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas — and by that I mean I just saw a drunk Santa vomiting into a Salvation Army red donation kettle….
Today is Thanksgiving. Although in some states it’s also called National Feed Your Big Fat Face Day…
It’s OK to celebrate Columbus Day but try not to get syphilis, rape, torture, enslave and kill tons of people and destroy an entire civilization…
Every year on the 4th of July, Americans commemorate freedom, liberty & the pursuit of happiness. Except for Blacks, Gays, Women, and Poor People..
Awesome Image Courtesy Of Alex Girolamo
Today is World Goth Day. Which is not to be confused with “No Sense Of Humor Day”, “Unemployable Loser Day”, “Get A Life Day”, “Thank God I’m Not Related To This Person Day”, or “Morbid Death and Cemetery Day”…
Who Is Santa Claus?
An overweight personification of greed in today’s society. He symbolizes gluttony, slavery, lust, and greed. He spies on children around the world all year. He unlawfully enslaved an entire race, the elves. He cruelly forces unqiue flying reindeer to haul his fat ass around once a year, at great risk to their health.
Furthermore, one that same night, he breaks into every household which beleives in him. He uses the “Enter through the chimney technique”. However, rather than steal anything of value, he steals the food left out. Such gluttony!
The cleverly wrapped presents usually contain some useless object the child of the house yearns for. However, one must assume, knowing his other criminal activity, that eventually he will deliver a bomb to some household.
Lastly, he symbolizes that it is okay to be bad. No matter how naughty a child has been that year, Santa always seems to reward him/her with a present.
This year, I will catch this fiend by installing a crossbar in my chimney. If any weight should be applied to the bar, it will cause a spark, which will start a fire in the fireplace.
We must bring Santa to justice!
