Posts tagged christmas

Claustrophobia - An anxiety disorder typically classified as the fear of a fat perverted old pedophile in a red suit…

Claustrophobia - An anxiety disorder typically classified as the fear of a fat perverted old pedophile in a red suit…

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FUN CHRISTMAS FACT: It’s legal to kick a hipster dressed like an elf from Santa’s workshop…

FUN CHRISTMAS FACT: It’s legal to kick a hipster dressed like an elf from Santa’s workshop…

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CHRISTMAS PARTY WARNING: Consumption of alcohol can make you think that you are Santa Claus when you are not…

CHRISTMAS PARTY WARNING: Consumption of alcohol can make you think that you are Santa Claus when you are not…

TODAY’S CHRISTMAS TIP FOR JEWS: Get some Christmas lights and spell out “JESUS WAS JEWISH” on the front of your house…

TODAY’S CHRISTMAS TIP FOR JEWS: Get some Christmas lights and spell out “JESUS WAS JEWISH” on the front of your house…

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas — and by that I mean I just saw a drunk Santa vomiting into a Salvation Army red donation kettle….

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas — and by that I mean I just saw a drunk Santa vomiting into a Salvation Army red donation kettle….

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“Costco’s average pay, for example, is $17 an hour, 42 percent higher than its fiercest rival, Sam’s Club. And Costco’s health plan makes those at many other retailers look Scroogish. One analyst, Bill Dreher of Deutsche Bank, complained last year that at Costco “it’s better to be an employee or a customer than a shareholder.” Mr. Sinegal begs to differ. He rejects Wall Street’s assumption that to succeed in discount retailing, companies must pay poorly and skimp on benefits, or must ratchet up prices to meet Wall Street’s profit demands. Good wages and benefits are why Costco has extremely low rates of turnover and theft by employees, he said. And Costco’s customers, who are more affluent than other warehouse store shoppers, stay loyal because they like that low prices do not come at the workers’ expense. “This is not altruistic,” he said. “This is good business.”— How Costco Became the Anti-Wal-Mart - New York Times 

“Costco’s average pay, for example, is $17 an hour, 42 percent higher than its fiercest rival, Sam’s Club. And Costco’s health plan makes those at many other retailers look Scroogish. One analyst, Bill Dreher of Deutsche Bank, complained last year that at Costco “it’s better to be an employee or a customer than a shareholder.” Mr. Sinegal begs to differ. He rejects Wall Street’s assumption that to succeed in discount retailing, companies must pay poorly and skimp on benefits, or must ratchet up prices to meet Wall Street’s profit demands. Good wages and benefits are why Costco has extremely low rates of turnover and theft by employees, he said. And Costco’s customers, who are more affluent than other warehouse store shoppers, stay loyal because they like that low prices do not come at the workers’ expense. “This is not altruistic,” he said. “This is good business.”

How Costco Became the Anti-Wal-Mart - New York Times 

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Who Is Santa Claus?



An overweight personification of greed in today’s society. He symbolizes gluttony, slavery, lust, and greed. He spies on children around the world all year. He unlawfully enslaved an entire race, the elves. He cruelly forces unqiue flying reindeer to haul his fat ass around once a year, at great risk to their health. 



Furthermore, one that same night, he breaks into every household which beleives in him. He uses the “Enter through the chimney technique”. However, rather than steal anything of value, he steals the food left out. Such gluttony! 



The cleverly wrapped presents usually contain some useless object the child of the house yearns for. However, one must assume, knowing his other criminal activity, that eventually he will deliver a bomb to some household. 



Lastly, he symbolizes that it is okay to be bad. No matter how naughty a child has been that year, Santa always seems to reward him/her with a present. 



This year, I will catch this fiend by installing a crossbar in my chimney. If any weight should be applied to the bar, it will cause a spark, which will start a fire in the fireplace. 



We must bring Santa to justice! 

Who Is Santa Claus?


An overweight personification of greed in today’s society. He symbolizes gluttony, slavery, lust, and greed. He spies on children around the world all year. He unlawfully enslaved an entire race, the elves. He cruelly forces unqiue flying reindeer to haul his fat ass around once a year, at great risk to their health. 


Furthermore, one that same night, he breaks into every household which beleives in him. He uses the “Enter through the chimney technique”. However, rather than steal anything of value, he steals the food left out. Such gluttony! 


The cleverly wrapped presents usually contain some useless object the child of the house yearns for. However, one must assume, knowing his other criminal activity, that eventually he will deliver a bomb to some household. 


Lastly, he symbolizes that it is okay to be bad. No matter how naughty a child has been that year, Santa always seems to reward him/her with a present. 


This year, I will catch this fiend by installing a crossbar in my chimney. If any weight should be applied to the bar, it will cause a spark, which will start a fire in the fireplace. 


We must bring Santa to justice! 

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