Posts tagged economics

Why Our Country Isn’t Really Broke…

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The United States isn’t broke; we’re the richest country on the planet and a country in which the richest among us are doing exceptionally well. But the truth is, our economy is broken, producing more pollution, greenhouse gasses and garbage than any other country. In these and so many other ways, it just isn’t working. But rather than invest in something better, we continue to keep this ‘dinosaur economy’ on life support with hundreds of billions of dollars of our tax money. The Story of Broke calls for a shift in government spending toward investments in clean, green solutions—renewable energy, safer chemicals and materials, zero waste and more—that can deliver jobs AND a healthier environment. It’s time to rebuild the American Dream; but this time, let’s build it better.

storyofstuff.org

 

 

 

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Officials say only Madoff has the devious skills needed to avert total catastrophe

NEW YORK—According to high-ranking federal officials, the U.S. government has struck an unusual bargain with convicted criminal Bernard Madoff, giving the former financier 48 hours to infiltrate the nation’s crumbling economy and fix it in exchange for a reduction in his sentence.

After determining the current economic emergency could not be resolved “within conventional means,” Treasury Department agents reportedly confronted the notorious Madoff in his solitary confinement cell and proposed a mutually beneficial arrangement that will make the 73-year-old a free man if he can safely “get in and out” and turn the failing financial system around by Friday.

"We told him the situation—how our country can’t seem to generate wealth and investment nationwide has hit rock bottom—and then we asked him, point-blank, ‘Can you help us?’" Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said of Madoff, known to fellow prisoners at Butner Federal Correctional Complex as "Mad Dog." "Believe me, no one wants to do this monster any favors, but he’s the only man in America with the skills to rally investor confidence and conjure money out of thin air. This time, though, he’ll be using his talents for good—if we can keep him on a tight enough leash, that is."

"Madoff may be one ruthless, crazy son of a bitch," Geithner added, "but he just might be our only hope."

Fellow inmates say the muscle-bound Madoff is capable of anything—absolutely anything.

Sources speaking on condition of anonymity said Madoff listened to the proposal with a smirk and took several drags off a cigarette before finally telling agents, “You guys must be pretty hard up if you’re asking me,” and agreed to the terms of the deal.

The mission is said to involve outfitting Madoff in a three-piece pinstripe suit and briefcase and transporting him by a glider to the extraction point at 11 Wall Street in Manhattan, where he will work quickly to generate funds via various investment operations and “wealth management” schemes, a plan officials are calling “a suicide mission, perhaps, but our last, best shot.”

"There’s a strong chance he’ll go rogue once he realizes the mission is all but hopeless, so we’ve implanted a tracking device in his body that will explode if he strays more than a mile from the New York Stock Exchange," said Geithner, acknowledging Madoff is one of the few men alive ruthless enough to survive the total disaster zone he’s being sent into. "It’s a risk we have to take. Mad Dog knows that place like the back of his hand, and this is a guy who made billions of dollars practically overnight by cold-bloodedly convincing people their retirement accounts were booming. The man is a selling machine."

"And right now, brother, that’s exactly what we need," Geithner added.

U.S. Treasury accountant Simon Trueheart, known within the department as a by-the-book bureaucrat, will accompany Madoff on the mission, and the criminal mastermind is reported to have already told his unlikely sidekick to “leave the pocket calculator at home, kid, because if we do this, we do it my way, understand?”

When asked if the government would actually make good on its promise to reduce Madoff’s sentence to time served should he succeed, Treasury officials were noncommittal, but confirmed they would be checking up with him every hour on the hour to chart his progress and make sure “the psycho bastard isn’t up to his old tricks again.”

"Some of the bankers, traders, and corporate executives in there now are even more merciless than he is, so let’s just hope he can keep his wits about him," said Geithner, adding that he worried Madoff might merely be making use of the opportunity to reunite with his estranged son, Andrew, on the outside. "The clock is ticking. Every minute he’s down in that fucking madhouse we’re one minute closer to total economic oblivion. I never thought I’d say this, but Godspeed, Bernie Madoff. You better know what the hell you’re doing."

When reached for comment, Madoff told reporters he personally didn’t care “one rat’s ass” whether the economy recovered, as long as it meant he’d be out on probation in two days time.

"I may not like being the feds’ monkey, but it beats rotting away in the hole, I can tell you that much," Madoff said after completing a set of one-armed push-ups and running a comb through his hair. "But mark my words, if that pencil-pusher Geithner weasels out of this deal, I will hunt him down and slit his fucking throat. You got that, Jack? He’s in Mad Dog’s world now."

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This was unanimously voted on by all members of Occupy Wall Street last night, around 8pm, Sept 29. It is our first official document for release. We have three more underway, that will likely be released in the upcoming days: 1) A declaration of demands. 2) Principles of Solidarity 3) Documentation on how to form your own Direct Democracy Occupation Group.

This is a living document. you can receive an official press copy of the latest version by emailing c2anycga@gmail.com.

Declaration of the Occupation of New York City

As we gather together in solidarity to express a feeling of mass injustice, we must not lose sight of what brought us together. We write so that all people who feel wronged by the corporate forces of the world can know that we are your allies.

As one people, united, we acknowledge the reality: that the future of the human race requires the cooperation of its members; that our system must protect our rights, and upon corruption of that system, it is up to the individuals to protect their own rights, and those of their neighbors; that a democratic government derives its just power from the people, but corporations do not seek consent to extract wealth from the people and the Earth; and that no true democracy is attainable when the process is determined by economic power. We come to you at a time when corporations, which place profit over people, self-interest over justice, and oppression over equality, run our governments. We have peaceably assembled here, as is our right, to let these facts be known.

They have taken our houses through an illegal foreclosure process, despite not having the original mortgage.

They have taken bailouts from taxpayers with impunity, and continue to give Executives exorbitant bonuses.

They have perpetuated inequality and discrimination in the workplace based on age, the color of one’s skin, sex, gender identity and sexual orientation.

They have poisoned the food supply through negligence, and undermined the farming system through monopolization.

They have profited off of the torture, confinement, and cruel treatment of countless nonhuman animals, and actively hide these practices.

They have continuously sought to strip employees of the right to negotiate for better pay and safer working conditions.

They have held students hostage with tens of thousands of dollars of debt on education, which is itself a human right.

They have consistently outsourced labor and used that outsourcing as leverage to cut workers’ healthcare and pay.

They have influenced the courts to achieve the same rights as people, with none of the culpability or responsibility.

They have spent millions of dollars on legal teams that look for ways to get them out of contracts in regards to health insurance.

They have sold our privacy as a commodity.

They have used the military and police force to prevent freedom of the press.

They have deliberately declined to recall faulty products endangering lives in pursuit of profit.

They determine economic policy, despite the catastrophic failures their policies have produced and continue to produce.

They have donated large sums of money to politicians supposed to be regulating them.

They continue to block alternate forms of energy to keep us dependent on oil.

They continue to block generic forms of medicine that could save people’s lives in order to protect investments that have already turned a substantive profit.

They have purposely covered up oil spills, accidents, faulty bookkeeping, and inactive ingredients in pursuit of profit.

They purposefully keep people misinformed and fearful through their control of the media.

They have accepted private contracts to murder prisoners even when presented with serious doubts about their guilt.

They have perpetuated colonialism at home and abroad.

They have participated in the torture and murder of innocent civilians overseas.

They continue to create weapons of mass destruction in order to receive government contracts. *

To the people of the world,

We, the New York City General Assembly occupying Wall Street in Liberty Square, urge you to assert your power.

Exercise your right to peaceably assemble; occupy public space; create a process to address the problems we face, and generate solutions accessible to everyone.

To all communities that take action and form groups in the spirit of direct democracy, we offer support, documentation, and all of the resources at our disposal.

Join us and make your voices heard!

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