Posts tagged joe arpaio

On Thursday Sheriff Joe Arpaio held a press conference to announce the “results” of his investigation into whether the Democratic current President of the United States was really born in America at all or whether it was a decades-spanning plot to do (something) because (something) and because, obviously, the first non-lily-white American president cannot possibly be legitimate on the merits, especially in those nooks of America that, like Arizona, have recently rededicated themselves towards race-based paranoias of all sorts.

As near as can be determined, the primary conclusion of Sheriff Joe and his Insane Clown Posse is that scanned documents are scanned. Rather than Arpaio actually having any investigation at all, he simply outsourced it to a passel of conspiracy cranks from World Net Daily and the like who had already reached their “conclusions” years ago, put the Sheriff Joe name on the top of the thing, and called it done. This is the kind of dedicated, not-at-all-asinine work we have come to expect from America’s worst-run sheriff department. The only non-asinine thing about any of it was, as Arpaio so earnestly assured us all, that the hard work of repackaging old conspiracy theories was financed from gullible donors. He did not siphon public money in order to “investigate” anything.

That was the story on Thursday, anyway. Now? Maybe not so much:

Arpaio told radio talk show host Mike Broomhead on station KFYI that the [purported results of his insane hunt for zebras by an outsourced group of zebra-hunters] “takes it into a different level.”

"I’ll have to decide how to go with this and get some more help from our detectives that we should pursue," Arpaio said. "When you get information about a criminal violation, I think it’s incumbent on somebody to look at it and do something about it."

Two things jump out, obviously. One, that he is so taken with this ‘scanned documents are scanned’ theory he is now contemplating having his sheriff department spend actual money following up on it. Two: he says “get some more help”? More? Is this jackass saying he hadprevious help from his own paid sheriff’s staff, despite denying it mere hours beforehand?

While I am sorely tempted to donate money to Sheriff Joe to have him “investigate” other things (and really, Sheriff Joe Investigates sounds like a damn fine Fox News program—I can hear the theremin-heavy opening credits already), I would be damn peeved to hear that this nut has or might use taxpayer-funded employees to pursue his little pet theories. Still, I expect now that Sheriff Joe will want to get cracking on investigations as to whether we ever really landed on the moon, whether the Loch Ness Monster really exists, and what really happened on 9/11. I am sure he will be able to find volunteer “investigators” on the internet for each of those things; all that is required is that he plaster his name up there at the top. This is a man that raids suspected cock-fighting operations in an armored tank with his name prominently displayed on the side, and with Steven Seagal in tow for good measure, so self-promotion would seem to be this conspiracy crank’s core skill.

Courtesy of Hunter for the Daily Kos

Arizona Sheriff (and notorious douchebag) Joe Arpaio, who was rebuked in December by the Justice Department for alleged civil rights violations, said on Tuesday that he will release his findings on President Barack Obama’s birth certificate on March 1.

Arpaio further implied that the president should be thanking him for looking into whether his Hawaii birth certificate is a fake.

"When I took this mission on, I took it on to possibly be able to clear the president," Apraio said during a speech in Maricopa County, where he serves as sheriff. "I was doing him a favor. We’ll see what happens."

He didn’t give any hints as to what his birther “Cold Case posse” had found, but insisted his press conference was not driven by a desire to gain media attention. “I don’t have press conferences just to get my name on television,” he said. (Granted, he gets his name on TV plenty as it is, particularly for mishandling immigration enforcement authority until his office was banned from a federal partnership program.)

Arpaio insisted that he is investigating the racially-charged “birther” claims, which have been thoroughly debunked, because of demand from Tea Partiers. Obama released his long-form birth certificate in April 2011, but that was not enough for Arpaio, who said in November 2011 that he wants to see the microfiche of that document.

Arpaio met with ”birther queen” Orly Taitz in October 2011 to discuss the investigation, again declining to give findings to the press.

"What should I do, throw it in the waste basket and forget about it, like everyone else is this country has done?" Arpaio said on Tuesday. "But once again, I take my elected sheriff’s status very serious, and when the people ask me to do something I try to do it regardless of the repercussions, the politics and the media."

Arpaio spoke after an appearance by presidential candidate and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, with whom Arpaio said he met for about 20 minutes. But Arpaio did not issue an endorsement, although he was for Texas Gov. Rick Perry before he dropped out of the race.

More than talking about candidates, Arpaio touted his immigration enforcement methods, which he said are merely part of his job description as an Arizona sheriff. He said he is glad that the state’s lawmakers passed SB 1070 and that his job is now to enforce it — though in July 2010 a federal judge blocked parts of the controversial immigration law, ruling it unconstitutional.

Arpaio said Obama should thank him for his efforts to drive out undocumented immigrants, too, insisting he is creating jobs through raids on employers.

"Every time we raid a place we remove illegal aliens, that makes another opening for U.S. citizens," Arpaio said. "How come the president doesn’t thank me for doing what I can for the economy? I never get any thanks."

Courtesy of Elise Foley of the Huffington Post

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When a person donates to a political figure, they expect that cash to be used towards furthering said politicians’ stated goals. Jan PAC, Arizona Governor Jan Brewers’ fund raising group, has pledged to focus on 4 goals:

  • Securing the border & restoring integrity to our immigration system
  • Fighting ObamaCare
  • Creating jobs – Getting Americans back to work
  • Reducing the size of government

Instead, Jan Brewer has used donations to her political action committee to buy her own book (ostensibly to give to donors who contribute $100 or more but happens to have the side effect of putting PAC money directly into her pocket) and to stay at an expensive hotel.

According to a report from Talking Points Memo:

“The governor had raised only about $22,000 for Jan PAC by the end of 2011 and spent nearly a quarter of the cash, buying books from Amazon and paying a bill at the luxurious Waldorf Astoria hotel in Orlando, Fla. The rest of the money is still in the bank.

Brewer spent $3,423 on books and shipping from the online retailer, according to the financial reports. On her fundraising website, she offers a signed copy of her book “Scorpions for Breakfast” to every donor who gives $100 or more.

In early December she also spent $624 for a night at the swank Waldorf Astoria in Orlando, which her financial disclosures repeatedly misspell as “Orlanda.” Another $513 went to airfare on Southwest Airlines.”

It’s the kind of thing Republicans would definitely take Democrats to task over, but as usual, when a Republican is guilty of misusing donations, it’s perfectly acceptable.


This report reveals quite a lot about Jan Brewer and her support team. Like the typical Right Wing nut job, she has no intention of actually using money for its intended purposes. Like the typical Right Wing nut job, she is selfish and thinks she is more important than she actually is. Like the typical Right Wing nut job, she abuses the trust of the her constituents. And like the typical Right Wing nut job, she can’t spell. As I said before, if a Democrat was doing this, Republicans would be screaming bloody murder about fraud and waste and would be calling for resignations and investigations. How can the Republican Party claim to be the defenders of what our money is spent on when they can’t even use PAC funds for the purposes they say they’re supposed to be used for?



People from Arizona, I beg your pardon, but, thanks to Governor Jan Brewer and Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Republicans and Mormons and The Tea Party and Racists and Crazy Bigots and Stupid People and Insane Murdering Bastards, everyone from Arizona is now an asshole…

The Rest Of The Human Race…..

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By Rep. Ruben Gallego


Over a three-year period ending in 2007, the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, headed by Joe Arpaio, ignored or inadequately investigated over 400 sex crimes, including child molestation cases with victims as young as two years old.



In the small Arizona community of El Mirage alone, at least 50-75 sex abuse cases, including 32 reports of child molestation, were never resolved.


Victims of abuse, especially vulnerable children, are entitled to protection from local law enforcement and deserve to have their accusers brought to justice. It is unconscionable that under Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s watch, the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office has allowed hundreds of reported sexual abuse crimes, including dozens of alleged child molestations, to be mishandled, inadequately investigated, or outright ignored. 



That’s why I created a petition to the U.S. Department of Justice on, which says:


Sheriff Arpaio has failed to fulfill his obligations as Sheriff of Maricopa County. We call upon the U.S. Department of Justice to intervene and hold Sheriff Joe accountable for his failure to serve and protect these victims.


Will you sign the petition? Click here to add your name, and then pass it along to your friends:





–Rep. Ruben Gallego



To be delivered to: U.S. Department of Justice and Sheriff Joe Arpaio



Over a three-year period ending in 2007, the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, headed by self styled “Toughest Sheriff in America” Joe Arpaio“ ignored or inadequately investigated over 400 sex crimes, many including reported child molestation, with victims as young as two years old. In the small Arizona community of El Mirage alone, at least 50 - 75 sex abuse cases (including over 32 child molestation reports) were never resolved. Victims of abuse, especially vulnerable children, are entitled to the protection of local law enforcement and deserve to have their accusers brought to justice. It is unconscionable that Sheriff Arpaio has allowed such a gross miscarriage of justice to take place under his direction. Under Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s watch, the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office has allowed hundreds of reported sexual abuse crimes, including dozens of alleged child molestations, to be mishandled, inadequately investigated, or outright ignored. Law enforcement officials are sworn to serve and protect the public and victims of abuse are entitled to justice under our legal system.



NEW goal - We need 4,000 signatures
There are currently 3,029 signatures

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At the invitation of the National Day Laborer Organizing Network, Manu Chao traveled to Arizona to witness the human rights crisis facing migrants there and to give a free “Alto Arizona” performance..

Film Director Alex Rivera (Sleep Dealer) shot a short music video of Manu in front of the infamous Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Tent City jail before the show on September 21, 2011.


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The Most Heartbreaking 99% Graphic You Will See This Week
courtesy of and the fascist, radical right-wing State Of Arizona

The Most Heartbreaking 99% Graphic You Will See This Week

courtesy of and the fascist, radical right-wing State Of Arizona

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Another Stupid-Sheriff Story

For anyone in need of a good laugh, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio issued a press release this morning with the headline “Sheriff Arpaio Says His Office Enjoying Exceptional Times.”

We’ll say…

2011 has proven to be quite “exceptional” for the MCSO — it’s not often a sheriff’s office costs TAXPAYERS nearly $750,000 in two separate lawsuits in less than 24 hours. It’s also rare for a law enforcement agency to have to fire two of its male top deputies after they exchanged love letters while also discussing a way to launder scads of money for a sleazy attack ad targeting the sheriff’s political opponent.

Even more “exceptional” is Joe Arpaio’s claim that he had no idea how poorly/illegally his office has been run for the past several years, or for one of the largest law enforcement agencies in the country to misspend nearly $100 million in TAXPAYER MONEY on things like rounding up stock boys at the Burlington Coat Factory.

Adding to Arpaio’s “exceptional” 2011 is the fact that a drug/human-smuggling cartel has infiltrated his office. Even more exceptional/unbelievable is the fact that one of his detention officers is pregnant with a Mexican drug “kingpin’s” illegitimate child.

Then there’s the churching up of illegal immigrant roundups by using language like “employer sanctions operations” to describe them, all while not arresting a single “employer.

But all that stuff aside, the 79-year-old sheriff thinks “the headlines portray a different picture.”

By “different picture,” Arpaio must mean the facts.

We’ll spare you the entire press release to avoid having whatever beverage you may be consuming from gushing out of your nose.


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Sheriff JACKASS Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Ariz., is the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD for Sept. 27, 2011

Local news station KNXV-TV of Phoenix interviewed the NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT that is Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio Monday about his efforts to investigate President Barack Obama’s birth certificate and his views on Latinos.

"First of all, about 300 people signed petitions," Arpaio said of the investigation into Obama’s birth certificate. "I am the chief law enforcement officer, they asked me to look at that situation. I don’t dump everything in the wastebasket. So I have my ‘Cold Case Posse’ which I’ve had for five years. It’s free; it doesn’t cost a penny to the taxpayers. Made up of ex-cops and some lawyers, so let them look at it."

President Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii in 1961, but so-called “birthers” have long argued that Obama is not in fact a U.S. citizen and have challenged the president to produce his long-form birth certificate as evidence. After ignoring the controversy for months, the White House releasedthe president’s long-form birth certificate in April, but even that has not silenced his critics.

The next question to Arpaio was why he does not punish employers for hiring undocumented immigrants but sends undocumented immigrants to jail. He replied that the law against employers is a civil law, not a criminal one, and therefore falls outside his purview, and that he “locked up” those with “false identification.”

Arpaio is infamous for his publicity stunts as sheriff, including making inmates wear pink underwear, conducting immigration sweeps in Latino neighborhoods, and moving inmates between jails in chains. The majority of inmates picked up in his sweeps are undocumented immigrants.

The next question came in from a Facebook user: “Why are you a racist against Latinos?”

Arpaio chuckled. “Well I’m not going to get into my personal life, and grandkids, and daughter-in-laws. I don’t have to defend myself against that vicious attack. So, he can have his opinion — I know what I am.” , which, of course, as the entire country knows, Sheriff Jackass Joe has demonstrated himself (time and time again) to be an idiotic, narcissistic, racist, corrupt, embarrassing AssClown.