THIS DAY IN INTERNET HISTORY: On this day in 2005, YouTube was launched. Before this, nobody gave a crap about your stupid cat…
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BREAKING NEWS: Jay Leno to leave “The Tonight Show” so that he can spend more time being annoying and unfunny with his family…
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THIS JUST IN: The Fox News Channel hires Herman Cain due to his vast knowledge and expertise in America’s war in Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan…
ACCORDING TO REPUBLICANS: Today is Valentine’s Day….because Obama is a socialist…
BREAKING NEWS: American Airlines and US Airways are merging….because one huge crappy airline is so much better at sucking than two…
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THIS JUST IN: Lance Armstrong announces the “Lie Strong” foundation with Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa and A-Rod…
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Today’s Smart-Ass Response To A Completely Well-Meaning Sign…
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Claustrophobia - An anxiety disorder typically classified as the fear of a fat perverted old pedophile in a red suit…
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FUN CHRISTMAS FACT: It’s legal to kick a hipster dressed like an elf from Santa’s workshop…
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CHRISTMAS PARTY WARNING: Consumption of alcohol can make you think that you are Santa Claus when you are not…
TODAY’S CHRISTMAS TIP FOR JEWS: Get some Christmas lights and spell out “JESUS WAS JEWISH” on the front of your house…
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It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas — and by that I mean I just saw a drunk Santa vomiting into a Salvation Army red donation kettle….
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If you bring a fruit cake to a Christmas party, then you are probably an asshole…
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“Is It Time For Dogs To Have A Social Network Of Their Own?” - AKA: The Reason Why Your Local News Channel Sucks…
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BASEBALL UPDATE: Barry Bonds appears on the ballot this year for both the Baseball Hall of Fame and the Big-Ass Head of Fame…
