Posts tagged santa
FUN CHRISTMAS FACT: It’s legal to kick a hipster dressed like an elf from Santa’s workshop…
TODAY’S CHRISTMAS TIP FOR JEWS: Get some Christmas lights and spell out “JESUS WAS JEWISH” on the front of your house…
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas — and by that I mean I just saw a drunk Santa vomiting into a Salvation Army red donation kettle….
If you bring a fruit cake to a Christmas party, then you are probably an asshole…
Occupy The North Pole…..
Who Is Santa Claus?
Furthermore, one that same night, he breaks into every household which beleives in him. He uses the “Enter through the chimney technique”. However, rather than steal anything of value, he steals the food left out. Such gluttony!
The cleverly wrapped presents usually contain some useless object the child of the house yearns for. However, one must assume, knowing his other criminal activity, that eventually he will deliver a bomb to some household.
Lastly, he symbolizes that it is okay to be bad. No matter how naughty a child has been that year, Santa always seems to reward him/her with a present.
This year, I will catch this fiend by installing a crossbar in my chimney. If any weight should be applied to the bar, it will cause a spark, which will start a fire in the fireplace.
We must bring Santa to justice!
The Smart-Ass Hanukkah Greeting Of The Day…..
Today’s brilliantly smart-ass response to a completely well-meaning sign.
Santa Claus Hates Vegans….
This Christmas, Your Apple iPhone Is Going To Kill You…
The Smart-Ass Christmas Greeting Of The Day…..